Fear never dies

// 1.385 min read

Throughout my life, I’ve been fortunate to have had a number of opportunities to get up in front of groups of people. Whether that was taking my turn to jump into a breakdancing circle, teaching modern jive, speaking at conferences, or something else—these experiences all share one thing in common: fear.

It’s really really really scary to stand up in front of people and say something. Even when it’s online, and people aren’t even directly in front of you, the fear gets to us every time. The fear gets to us in the wings before we step out onto the stage. The fear gets to us in the classroom when the teacher calls on us to take a stab at the answer. The fear gets to us when we have to do a presentation in front of our colleagues. It gets us everywhere.

Back when I was doing stuff in person regularly, I’d often have people ask me how to get over the fear.

The honest answer? You don’t.

With enough exposure, we learn that fear doesn’t have any consequences beyond itself. I’ve had a fair amount of practice already, but this is something I want to get much better at—and I think you should too—because it can help us in all areas of life. Moving forward inspite of our fear can help us strike up that conversation with a stranger, or bring up the topic of salary with our boss, or make that connection while we’re out on a date.

Fear is normal. We can learn to sit with the fear, and it will lose it’s power over us—but one thing’s for sure: fear never dies.

Coby Chapple (@cobyism)

@cobyism—a.k.a. Coby Chapple is an autodidact, systems thinker, product architect, pixel technician, full-stack algorithmagician, multi-media maker, cryptography geek, aspiring linguist, and generalist Designerd™ extraordinaire. Read more »